Living Death

Starring: Kristy Swanson, Greg Bryk, Josh Peace, Kelsey Matheson
Director: Erin Berry
Director: Erin Berry

Screenwriter: Erin Berry, Leo Scherman, Christopher Warre Smets

Composer: Brad Ketchen

This movie really got to me. I was so bothered by it I had to stop it three times. Not that it is overly gory, as most of the film is about finding a body, but the fact that this could happen in real life! That's what bothers me. Watching movies that have events that could actually happen! Uggh! This is definately a cringe worthy film and I'd suggest it to anyone who wants to be in total deress through the entire thing.

Spoiler Alert: Living Death is actually pretty slow to begin with. It introduces two characters, the abusive, cheating sadomasicistic husband, and the blonde trophy wife. The husband is rich by inheirtance, while the wife...well she's cheating on him with his best friend and lawyer. A plot to kill the husband backfires and of course! He comes back for revenge of the goriest sort.

No you don't love any of these characters, which actually makes it easier to watch. However it's slow as hell after the first five minutes where a woman is put on a rack (As sex play) and her knee-cap is broken by accident. After this, we see how poorly the wife is treated, we learn of her affair, and a plot to do some killing. The next half hour to fourty minutes, maybe even longer is wasted on alot of bullshit. This is unneeded as we, the viewer, already know that the husband is going to come back to do some much needed revenge killing.

This movie started picking up when the paralyzed, but still alive! man started getting cut into. Have you seen intesteins lately? No. Well you'll see them here. After we find out he's alive, the hapless medical students (Whom I seem to have failed to mention up to this point) try to bury him. And so ensues the gore! Alright for some fun killings! I'd like to see you put a scalpel through a pair of glasses.

Killing the cheating wife and bastard friend is next.

Over all, I really enjoyed this film. It genuienly bothered me, and I will probably have trouble walking the whole hundred meters to my dorm room tonight. The acting was done well, however, other critics give this little known film a poor rating. That's just unfair! It looked good and realistic, and damn did it give me the chills!

Over all, I give this film an 8/10

Best Killing: Arms ripped from torso via rack! 8/10

Best Death: Guts spilled to the floor. Huzzah! 6/10

Zombie Strippers

"Zombie Strippers is a 2008 zombie comedy, written and directed by Jay Lee, starring Robert Englund, Jenna Jameson, and Tito Ortiz and distributed by Sony Pictures Home Entertainment. It is based on the French existential Theatre of the Absurd play Rhinoceros by Eugene Ionesco." -Wikipedia

Zombie Strippers is probably one of the oddest zombie horror flicks I've watched. It was very hoocky and surprisingly not so predictable. Of course you know how everything will go down because, zombie films are simple. Scientists create zombies, think they can contain them but soon realize that this is impossible. But this time, it's about strippers! How woman joining the league of the undead. How much better does it get? For the most part, I enjoyed this movie but there were also some really stupid parts that just disappointed me.

I was glad to see that they explained the zombies a little more. They weren't just a freak accident! Spoiler Alert: Instead they were commissioned by the Bush administration to bring the living tissue back to life, the scientists developed a Chemo-Virus to reanimate the living. It works, but not as they'd like. It seems the Chemo-Virus stays in it's pure form on the X-Chromosome. Which means women are cognative! Crazy stuff. Blah blah blah, Z-squad comes in, tries to take out zombies, one of them get's bitten and long story short, he get's into a strip club (Strip clubs are illegal!!), bites the head stripper and everything goes to hell.

It seems that Zombie strippers are way more fun to watch than regular old living girls and slowly all of our beloved Strippers are being turned into Zombs. They need to feed, however, and this is when things start becoming a problem. Zombie strippers are taking customers and eating them, but not completely and the dead men become undead, so the managment must hide them! You think you can contain a problem but really, it's not gonna happen.

This film made me smile and laugh and even cheer for the undead ladies! I wanted to see them eat their sleaze-bag customers. However, it was when all hell broke lose and we had those few survivors that this movie started getting bad. Do we not know how to shot heads? A whole five minutes was wasted on shooting torsos, resulting in the death of a beloved character; Paco, the cliche hispanic. Awesome. The Paco scenes really made me cringe.

The end disappointed me, and made me want to turn the movie off, but if you can suffer through it, you'll get so see some badass zombie deaths and killings! I don't think many people will be shocked by the "moral of the story".

Over all I give Zombie Strippers a rating of Six out of Ten.

Best Zombie Killing: A tie A man has his skull chewed open by a zombie, brains are exposed. Simply beautiful. 8/10 I have two words for you; Face Dance. 9/10

Best Zombie Death: Jenna Jameson get's ripped to pieces! 5/10

Welcome

Welcome to your newest nightmare. Plain and simple, this is a blog so that not only can I get back to writting, but I can also tell you how I feel about everyone's favorite subject; Horror! I have a lot of time on my hands, and so will be able to watch many many films, and you will get my review on all of them. Updated daily with a new film.

>I'll be editting my welcome. This is just a rough draft for my blog<